The expression “PAK!” comes from the Filipino movie Here Comes The Bride. There’s a scene where the character of Angelica Panganiban does a series of poses for the camera and the photographer(?) exclaims, “PAK!” with each pose. This term has made its way to Pinoy slang, and is used when “someone says something really fierce and you just HAVE TO strike a pose while saying ‘PAK!'” (Samaniego, P. 2011).
The British Council’s Global Changemakers Summit, held in India, had so many PAK moments. When you gather 60 of the UK’s and Asia Pacific’s youngest movers and shakers, there’s bound to be all kinds of quotable quotes, pickup lines, and memorable moments. Some were tumPAK (loosely translated as “spot on!”) while others were palPAK (“fail” in Tagalog).
First, I’d like to introduce the guys who meant the most to me: my fellow Filipinos.
L-R: Dwight, Steven, Jam, Albert, Sam, and Ponce
Without informing me, they agreed to be my wingmen/pimps. Ponce’s line to “sell” me was, “Have you met Anna? She’s a scuba diver.”
For example:
me (approaching table where Ponce is): hey ponce! have you eaten?
ponce: hey guys, have you met anna? she’s a scuba diver.
SAY WHUT!
stranger: hi! where are you from?
me: the Philippines! 🙂
ponce: she’s a scuba diver!
???
One afternoon, I cornered Ponce.
me: what is this ‘scuba diver’ pickup line?! ponce, i swear, if i went to a bar with you, no one would bring me home!
ponce: anna, i always say you’re a scuba diver because divers can hold their breath for a really long time… IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN 😉
me: ooohh… and divers like it deep. and wet. if you know what i mean.
ponce & me: *apir*
***
steven: where did you study?
me: university of the philippines 🙂
steven: you don’t look like you studied in UP.
me: huh? why not?
steven: diba that’s only for smart people??
***
jam: i love how your business card doesn’t have a title or occupation.
me: because i can be whoever you want me to be.
***
sam (new zealand): so, all this traveling and no boyfriend?
me: yeah, no boyfriend. single as ever. and you? dating anyone?
sam: yeah. i have a sort of boyfriend back home.
OH MEEHHNN!
***
me: do you know what australian kisses are?
adam (australia): nope.
me: they’re like french kisses, except they’re down under.
SPEECHLESS SI KOYA! (Des, thanks for the best Aussie pickup line ever.)
***
nadya (indonesia): how do you say ‘hi’ in tagalog?
me: ‘sex na tayo’ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
nadya: i don’t believe you!!!!
me: haha ok, just kidding. that means ‘let’s have sex.’
steven (sits next to us): huy, anong chismis? (what’s the gossip?) bilis, bilis!
nadya: what does ‘bilis’ mean?
dwight: it means, ‘faster, faster!’
nadya: WOW! what a perfect combination! ‘sex na tayo! bilis bilis!’
WAHAHAHA PAK!!!!!!!
Nadya, the best Tagalog student I’ve met thus far
***
me: ‘i love you’ in tagalog is ‘mahal kita.’
nadya: really? ‘mahal’ in bahasa is ‘expensive’!
me: yes, also in tagalog. because in the Philippines, love is precious.
***
ira (indonesia): how many languages do you know?
me: well, i’m fluent in 3 but i can flirt in 9.
ira: HAHAHAHAHAHA you should put that in your resume!
me: hey, you’re right! “skills: international relations.”
***
jam: you should always dress for success, because you’ll never know when you’ll have a date with destiny.
***
me: it’s my first time in india. and you?
omar (afghanistan): it’s my third time here.
me: oh great! can you recommend places to see or food to eat?
omar: there’s a place i know that sells shark. you eat shark?
me: O_O um… that’s… my advocacy. saving sharks. i’m trying to ban shark finning in my country.
omar: …oh 😐
me: …yeah 😐
*awkward silence*
omar: ……so i guess i asked the wrong question.
me: …..sooooooooo i’m gonna go get coffee. see ya!
***
João (Portugal) is possibly one of the most gorgeous guys I’ve ever met. The blue eyes, the mad breakdancing skillz (yes, with a zey). I’m trying to convince him to move to the Philippines and be an underwear model. A la Philippine Volcanoes, ganon.
at the dessert buffet
me: hey, do you know what this is made out of?
joão: shark. HAHAHA.
me: ??? you do know that that’s my thing right?
joão: O_O NO! i mean i knew it was marine conservation, but not shark conservation specifically!
Pal-PAK! He now calls me Sharkira, due to my shark-saving cause and hip-shaking tendencies.
***
Ah, Leo my Leo (Brasil). My borracho. When we first met, he thought I was a brat and I thought he looked like a hobo. Blame it on the beard and boho pants.
But we warmed up to each other soon enough.
leo (looking at my shoulder): you should get a tattoo there.
me: yeah? you think so?
leo: yeah, it feels like something’s missing…
me: a kiss? 😉
***
leo: i want to bring you to bed so you could sing me to sleep.
me: oh. just sing? 😦
***
leo: i’m afraid of heights.
me: i’m not afraid of heights. i’m not afraid of depths. i’m just afraid of love.
HAHA
Towards the end of the summit, I must say we successfully fulfilled the objectives of the United Nations: forging bonds among countries, solidarity, and cross-cultural understanding. We plan to meet next year in Brazil or the Philippines or Cambodia. He kept on squeezing my thunder thighs, which I initially had an issue with.
me: can you stop squeezing my legs?! I HATE MY LEGS.
leo: well, that’s YOUR problem.
That called for more than a PAK. It called for a cartwheel.
***
leo: i have something for you when we go back home.
me: what, your heart?
leo: no, you have that already.
AWARD! Napatambling ako sa harap ng Taj Mahal!
***
me: if i go to brazil next year, can you introduce me to your hot brazilian friends?
leo: seriously?! you’re not crossing two oceans so i can share you. seriously.
Possessive! Haba ng hair ko! Tumawid ng dalawang karagatan!
***
narayam (nepal): the most important thing in life is food.
jam: no, it’s love.
PALAK-PAK!
There you have it, folks! Love is the answer. All ways, all the time. Keep spreading the love! And during the right occasions, spread your legs.